In your absence,
considered a sin in some religions,
the sun is the only light -
and it hurts my dark eyes
Days drag into each other like freight cars
bumper to gear to bumper
pushing into each other,
The engine breaks then reverses on the tracks
a chain reaction of similar rusted boxes
strung one after another uncounted.
In your absence
there is an ache I can't find
to fix to cut out to cure,
it's somewhere inside there
like a silver key under a week of clothes
on the floor of the dark bedroom
deep blue curtains drawn against the bright blue day.
Dreams of wolves who are men
outside a hot metal door
brown paint peeling revealing the rust underneath,
A grey and black wolf on top of me
breathing on my neck, pinning me to the hot bed
the smell of snow, cold wild woods,
of wet fur and fear.
In your absence love
like liquor distilled, a dry alcohol remains to
numb the taste, what was once so good
sticky sweet and warm - now only burns inside
a dull, somewhat disturbing pain.
I rise, I move, I breathe-
I go, I eat, I come home-
but my heart remains in bed
sweating under wool blankets and dog hair
breathing and rebreathing the same air.
***********
see HOPE